tired and frustrated

I just took 2 tests today...1 in cardiopulm and 1 in therapeutic exercise. Cardiopulm went fairly well, of course you never know until you get it back. Therex on the other hand was horrible. It may be because I'm completely exhausted, but I don't think I've been this frustrated in a really long time. What am I supposed to do when I've tried my hardest and my best isn't good enough? I'm really going to be ecstatic if I just passed that test, but I'm not really sure at this point in time. I'm not sure how much more I could have studied mentally. Anyway, enough moping...we've got a Neuroanatomy test tomorrow and a practical on Thursday and Friday. Then repeat again next week...oh mylanta!

Also, there's a conference in February they're giving us a week off for because they want us to attend. It's in Vegas this year, which is exciting, but now they've added the stress of planning a trip to Vegas on a grad student's budget. HA! And if we don't go, they're going to notice, and I plan on not giving them anything to hold against me in case my butt is on the line. Course, I have to manage to stay in the program until then. Sigh. And I remind you yet again, I'm paying for this torture and I want to do this...Mom, did you drop me on the head when I was a baby? It's okay, you can tell me. I can handle it....

I should have known it was going to be a crummy day. This morning at 5:30 am while I was studying I lit a candle to try to calm myself down. Being sleep deprived and all, I went to blow it out, not realizing it was next to my laptop and got wax all over my desk and laptop. Don't worry, I got it all off and nothing is damaged. Then throw in the bad test. Then I almost got in an accident as this guy in a truck only looked to see if the other direction was clear, and started making a left turn as I was all of 30 feet away from him. Hooray for good brakes and power steering. And now my light in my room burned out when I went to turn it on. Bad day all around. Alright, I'm done venting...Hopefully tomorrow is better.

M.I.A. for too long...

No, I'm not dead...yet. I couldn't even tell you what I've really been doing these past few weeks. I've been at school...A LOT! I've done a lot of studying and reading and notecard-making and study guide-answering. I thought I didn't have a life in high school, and then I went to Cal Poly, where I longed for the free time that I had in HS. Now I'm longing for the free time I had in undergrad. Funny how things seem so hard when you're in the moment, but once you get past them you realize it really wasn't so bad. I'm hoping that will be the case now, but somehow I doubt it. This is pretty bad.

This week is a "light week" because we only have 1 quiz and 1 test (b/c 1 test was postponed). The next two weeks will be pretty awful. Basically something every day, if not 2 tests in one day. Remember, I'm paying for this torture, and a big chunk of money at that! The good news is that it's already week 4, so only 4 more weeks of class after this and then finals. It goes so fast, yet at the same time seems to drag on and on. Is it possible to have a callused butt? I think I have one from sitting for hours and hours on end.

Anyway, we have a test tomorrow that I should get back to studying for. Sorry that it's been so long since I've posted, but I really don't have much free time except for a little on the weekend, but then I'm braindead and don't remember to write anything. Oh well. I think you'll all survive. If you're really worried, you can call the school...they can direct you to the 1 classroom we're in for 8+ hours a day. I'll be in the last row on the aisle seat in the right row. Back to the wonders of neuroanatomy...

back to school...

Classes started back up today. I can already tell that this is going to be a busy term and I won't be getting as much sleep as I would like. They have taken the training wheels off and now it's time to show the faculty what we're really made of.

For the last two weeks of August I was up in SLO doing my practicum in a clinic in Atascadero. It ended up being a really great experience, but I think it helped that I was just so happy to be back in the area. Whenever I go up there I feel like I can breathe again. That area just runs at a different pace, and it's nice not having to keep up the hustle and bustle (and see blue sky!). My supervisor while I was in the clinic was a recent graduate from APU. He helped calm my nerves and told me that I just need to be more confident in my skills, because really, I know my stuff even though I don't think I do. I got to do some hands-on work and put what I had learned in class into practice. The patients were sad to go, as was I. It was so nice having a life again and being able to plop on the couch when I got home and not rush through dinner to get to studying. I already miss that.

While I was up there I got to see quite a few people. Jeff's roommate, Ed, who is gone for the summer came down and we hung out with him and his girlfriend, Erin. Jeff's old roommate of 5 years, David, and his girlfriend, Jeanette, came down for a weekend as well, and ended up getting engaged. So then I spent an entire evening starting the initial planning with Jeanette and shared my resources with her, since she has no idea what she wants or even how things work. I can hear Jeff sighing and the sound of his eyes hitting the back of his head as he rolls his eyes as he is reading this, but I had fun. Just because I've already investigated these things doesn't make me crazy...it makes me a girl! Love you Jeff! I also got to see my sister who is now living up there and my mom came up to visit the two of us for a day.

Anyway, now I'm back down south and we have a break between classes so I decided I should update this since it's been a while. Hope everyone had a terrific summer! I know I sure did, and I am definitely looking forward to having a life outside of school again! Every day brings me a little bit closer, and I cannot wait!