mystery solved!

These past 2 weeks we've been learning about musculoskeletal pathologies that we'll be dealing with in ortho settings. I was kind of excited to learn all this stuff because ortho is probably what I'll end up in. But, I was also hoping to finally figure out what the heck is wrong with my hip.

And the answer is...I have torn the labrum in my hip and have early signs of osteoarthritis. While I'm not exactly all too thrilled about the OA starting, I'm at least satisfied to know what the heck is wrong with me. Answers, no matter what they are, are always good things to have. The funny thing was that when I told our professor (good 'ol Dr. Wong) what I had figured out, the first thing he said was..."You were a dancer...am I right?" Man that guy is smart!

So for a little show and tell of the knowledge I've recently gained...

The labrum is some cartilage that lines the joint, providing stability and cushioning while increasing the contact surface area. Labrum tears are common with activities involving repetitive pivoting movements or repetitive hip flexion...can you say Irish dancing??? They also are usually not picked up on MRI's, no matter how grueling and painful they are when you get the dye injected, depending on the location of where they occur. Especially where mine probably is (in the front of my hip), there are too many structures to go through, and you need the hip moving in order to expose it...not an option when performing an MRI. Instead, diagnostic ultrasound is needed, a machine many clinicians do not know how to use well enough to find the tear. It is also common with these patients to have seen multiple health care providers without any success...this is starting to sound all too familiar! Finally, there is clicking/clunking in the hip and pain comes on with any activity. If the tear is bad enough, they will perform surgery and remove/repair the damaged tissue, and option that I am not all that interested in at the moment. Anyway, if you want to know more you can google it. I don't want to bore you all.

Now for the OA. OA in the hip is often related to a previous injury or trauma (see above). It also is tied in with the weather, which if you have been around me, you know that I can tell you when the weather is changing b/c my hip hurts like crazy and is swollen. There are lots of other signs, which most of which I don't have...yet. Hence the early stages of OA thing.

So while this was kind of a yay-boo situation, I'm glad to know what's wrong with me. This has been the mysterious problem since my senior year of HS, and it's been driving me nuts that no one could figure out what's wrong with me. Without an official diagnostic ultrasound, I can't say 100% sure that I have a torn labrum, but with the amount of symptoms that are a perfect match, I'm saying that's what it is. And of course, I don't know how to fix this yet...that comes later. :) So stay tuned for how I'm going to fix myself!

Congrats Jocelyn & Shaun!

I just got word that my good friend Jocelyn had her baby on Wednesday. I'm so happy and excited for her and I can't wait to meet Miss Abigail Denise. Auntie Kenzi will have to make a visit sometime soon! Congratulations Jocelyn...I'm so happy that she's here safe and sound. You're a mommy now! :)

changes

It's October now and I feel like October, moreso than September, is the official beginning of fall. The season has changed, the weather is changing (or should be anyway...somehow it's still 100º), football has returned, and Christmas decorations are already on sale. So, with all the changes going on around me, I've decided to make some changes with my life and myself.

First off, I decided to change the layout of my blog. A waste of time some of you may think, but when I picked the layout originally I felt like I was settling for one that I thought was OK from the selections provided instead of one I actually liked. So after a long week of tests (I took my practical today), I needed a little no-brain-effort-required downtime and started searching through the endless sea of templates you can download on various websites. I think this one suits me more. It looks like a binder or notebook, which I have way too many overflowing ones scattered around my room, it's more my personality and colors (although I do like turquoise/teal), and when I saw this one it kind of reminded me of me. Anyway, I hope you like the new look. I might try changing it more often because it's very refreshing...like cleaning out your closet...another thing I should get around to, but probably won't for quite some time.

Second, I've decided to try to not allow negativity consume my life. Difficult, yes, especially with the constant stress that I am under and never-ending lack of sleep. But I think it is a change that I need to make in order to keep my motivation up. The other day I was overworked, under-slept, and frustrated. To be honest, I was on the verge of a complete breakdown. However, Dr. Wong (our therex professor) reminded us that this is a learning process, that many classes have gone before us and taken this same test, and last year's class had a 100% first-time pass rate on the board exams. The problem I had with that test was that I could get many questions down to 2 choices, both legitimate answers, but could not pick the better answer of the two. They are trying to get us to think about what is the best choice in a large pool of excellent choices. Dr. Wong informed us, sadly, that the rest of our careers are going to be exactly like that...having to pick which treatment option will be better for that patient and having to figure out which one is the best choice. We are learning, and they are shaping us into wonderful clinicians who constantly amaze other therapists out in the field. It's a painful road that we have to go down, and unfortunately, there is no detour. However, it is the end result that we need to focus on, instead of the little mistakes we make along the way.

Along those lines, I am going to try to believe more in myself and my capabilities. No, I'm not the top student in the class, but I'm in this program, I'm earning my doctorate at 23 years old, and I've earned the right to be here. It's ok to not be perfect (a lesson many people in my class need to learn), it's what I take from my mistakes that will make a better and bigger person. Everyone has different strengths. So I can't regurgitate every piece of information. What I can do, is build an amazing relationship with each and every one of my patients, and provide them with the best care that I am able to give them. And it's about time that I start having a little faith in my knowledge and skills!

Finally, I've decided to try to make more time for me. How I'm going to do this, I'm not really sure. Whether it involves going for a walk, no matter how hot it is outside and how tired I am, or simply watching an episode of Ellen with a Diet Coke in hand. This program is taking over my life, and while it is important to constantly be keeping up with my work, I need to remember to take care of myself. I can't afford to be so burnt out that I can't function. So I'm moving myself up in the priority list, at least one notch anyway.

These are little changes that I am going to start implementing immediately. Really only three things, although they are going to be big challenges for me. Besides, too much change would be more than I could handle. Oh wait, I'm believing in my strengths. So I just want to really focus on these things. Besides, too much change would eat into my "me time". :)

Anyway, I hope you like the new look of my blog. I hope that you still find this interesting. If nothing else, it gives me a place to vent. Maybe this will inspire some of you to make some changes in your life as well. Our lives and our bodies are well-oiled machines, but even the finest craftsmanship requires a good tune-up every now and then. And with that, it is time to start preparing for next weeks' multiple tests...possibly with a Diet Coke within reach.

tired and frustrated

I just took 2 tests today...1 in cardiopulm and 1 in therapeutic exercise. Cardiopulm went fairly well, of course you never know until you get it back. Therex on the other hand was horrible. It may be because I'm completely exhausted, but I don't think I've been this frustrated in a really long time. What am I supposed to do when I've tried my hardest and my best isn't good enough? I'm really going to be ecstatic if I just passed that test, but I'm not really sure at this point in time. I'm not sure how much more I could have studied mentally. Anyway, enough moping...we've got a Neuroanatomy test tomorrow and a practical on Thursday and Friday. Then repeat again next week...oh mylanta!

Also, there's a conference in February they're giving us a week off for because they want us to attend. It's in Vegas this year, which is exciting, but now they've added the stress of planning a trip to Vegas on a grad student's budget. HA! And if we don't go, they're going to notice, and I plan on not giving them anything to hold against me in case my butt is on the line. Course, I have to manage to stay in the program until then. Sigh. And I remind you yet again, I'm paying for this torture and I want to do this...Mom, did you drop me on the head when I was a baby? It's okay, you can tell me. I can handle it....

I should have known it was going to be a crummy day. This morning at 5:30 am while I was studying I lit a candle to try to calm myself down. Being sleep deprived and all, I went to blow it out, not realizing it was next to my laptop and got wax all over my desk and laptop. Don't worry, I got it all off and nothing is damaged. Then throw in the bad test. Then I almost got in an accident as this guy in a truck only looked to see if the other direction was clear, and started making a left turn as I was all of 30 feet away from him. Hooray for good brakes and power steering. And now my light in my room burned out when I went to turn it on. Bad day all around. Alright, I'm done venting...Hopefully tomorrow is better.

M.I.A. for too long...

No, I'm not dead...yet. I couldn't even tell you what I've really been doing these past few weeks. I've been at school...A LOT! I've done a lot of studying and reading and notecard-making and study guide-answering. I thought I didn't have a life in high school, and then I went to Cal Poly, where I longed for the free time that I had in HS. Now I'm longing for the free time I had in undergrad. Funny how things seem so hard when you're in the moment, but once you get past them you realize it really wasn't so bad. I'm hoping that will be the case now, but somehow I doubt it. This is pretty bad.

This week is a "light week" because we only have 1 quiz and 1 test (b/c 1 test was postponed). The next two weeks will be pretty awful. Basically something every day, if not 2 tests in one day. Remember, I'm paying for this torture, and a big chunk of money at that! The good news is that it's already week 4, so only 4 more weeks of class after this and then finals. It goes so fast, yet at the same time seems to drag on and on. Is it possible to have a callused butt? I think I have one from sitting for hours and hours on end.

Anyway, we have a test tomorrow that I should get back to studying for. Sorry that it's been so long since I've posted, but I really don't have much free time except for a little on the weekend, but then I'm braindead and don't remember to write anything. Oh well. I think you'll all survive. If you're really worried, you can call the school...they can direct you to the 1 classroom we're in for 8+ hours a day. I'll be in the last row on the aisle seat in the right row. Back to the wonders of neuroanatomy...

back to school...

Classes started back up today. I can already tell that this is going to be a busy term and I won't be getting as much sleep as I would like. They have taken the training wheels off and now it's time to show the faculty what we're really made of.

For the last two weeks of August I was up in SLO doing my practicum in a clinic in Atascadero. It ended up being a really great experience, but I think it helped that I was just so happy to be back in the area. Whenever I go up there I feel like I can breathe again. That area just runs at a different pace, and it's nice not having to keep up the hustle and bustle (and see blue sky!). My supervisor while I was in the clinic was a recent graduate from APU. He helped calm my nerves and told me that I just need to be more confident in my skills, because really, I know my stuff even though I don't think I do. I got to do some hands-on work and put what I had learned in class into practice. The patients were sad to go, as was I. It was so nice having a life again and being able to plop on the couch when I got home and not rush through dinner to get to studying. I already miss that.

While I was up there I got to see quite a few people. Jeff's roommate, Ed, who is gone for the summer came down and we hung out with him and his girlfriend, Erin. Jeff's old roommate of 5 years, David, and his girlfriend, Jeanette, came down for a weekend as well, and ended up getting engaged. So then I spent an entire evening starting the initial planning with Jeanette and shared my resources with her, since she has no idea what she wants or even how things work. I can hear Jeff sighing and the sound of his eyes hitting the back of his head as he rolls his eyes as he is reading this, but I had fun. Just because I've already investigated these things doesn't make me crazy...it makes me a girl! Love you Jeff! I also got to see my sister who is now living up there and my mom came up to visit the two of us for a day.

Anyway, now I'm back down south and we have a break between classes so I decided I should update this since it's been a while. Hope everyone had a terrific summer! I know I sure did, and I am definitely looking forward to having a life outside of school again! Every day brings me a little bit closer, and I cannot wait!

We're baaaack...

So I know I've been home for a few days now, but I've been here and there and busy with research and recovering from the trip. I finally uploaded the pictures tonight, and even though I'm tired and hot, I will update this thing. I will limit the amount of pictures I put on here, and I have sent them to several of you, but if you did not receive them and would like to, let me know. Hang on to your hats and glasses, 'cuz this here's the wildest ride in the wilderness!!! Ok, not really, but it was very fun!

Our trip started out by Jeff and I flying into Denver, CO where we were picked up at the airport by his parents. We then drove 2 1/2 hours to Beaver Creek, CO, where we attended the wedding of Jeff's cousin Sarah. It was absolutely beautiful, and I can now say that I have eaten buffalo. (surprisingly, it was quite tasty) The condos we stayed in were AH-mazing. Mom, you would have killed for the kitchen and bathrooms! I wish we had had more time there, because we didn't really get to explore the area. I'm sure the area is just as beautiful, if not moreso in the winter, but after 2 nights, we were off...


From this point on we were riding in Jeff's parents' (Mike and Becky) truck following behind Jeff's aunt and uncle (Susie and Tom), and his cousins (Bobby and Betty) and their kids (Jordan, Andrew, and Sofia) in their rented RV. I can't tell you how many times we thought about passing that slow RV we were behind until we'd realize that we were following them on purpose! :)


So after sitting in traffic FOREVER (I thought we left CA), we made it to Rocky Mountain National Park. The RV-ers stayed in a campground inside the park, while we stayed in Estes Park, CO which is just outside the park. After studying the map of the park, Jeff and I picked out the trail we wanted to hike the next day which would allow us to see several waterfalls and lakes. Bobby and Betty decided to join us on the seemingly "moderate" trail. The hike ended up being 9.5 miles, and in the first 3 miles, we hiked up from around 8,000 feet to right below the tree line. CRAZY! We thought we were going to die, but then the remaining 6.5 miles were flat or downhill, so we kept hiking along. We saw some pretty amazing sights, hiked across snow in August, got rained on, drank a million bottles of water, looked like the least in-shape hikers in the world (note to self: invest in hiking poles so as to look more professional), and learned just how much we love our oxygen. Do we regret it? No. Although that's easier to say now that our muscles aren't as sore. The next day we drove through the rest of the park, saw elk, moose (and squirrel), and deer. And it just wouldn't be right if we didn't get hailed on or drive through a lightening storm. RMNP was absolutely beautiful, regardless of the weather. The sad part was knowing that it will never look the same as it did then, as the bark beetle is quickly destroying the trees. There were some hillsides that were already completely brown with dead trees. Who knew such a little bug could be so devastating?! I would have loved to spend more time there (not sure my muscles would agree), but we were off and running... Goodbye RMNP!
Our next stop: Glenwood Springs, CO. Apparently there are some caverns there, but we didn't really have much time there. Then why did we stop there you ask? Because we had dinner with Jordan's teacher from this past year who just moved out there. We couldn't get too comfy, because then we were off again in the morning!

After stopping to get the RV's fridge fixed, we made it to Arches National Park in Utah. The sun was quickly setting, so we only made short hikes around a couple arches. We climbed on a couple of them, which I'm surprised they still allow, and avoided stepping on the black mold plant thing on the trail. We didn't spot any bighorn sheep, but lots of lizards and few jackrabbits. I really do wish we had more time there because I feel like just driving past most the arches didn't really allow us to take it all in. Again, the RV stayed in a campground inside the park and we stayed in Moab, UT which is right outside the park. The Wall Arch had just fallen 2 days before we had gotten there. Glad we weren't hiking under it at the time! The next morning Jeff, his parents, Bobby, Jordan, and Andrew went on a quad ride while Betty, Sofia, and I went on a Hummer ride. Basically we rode in a Hummer over the big giant rocks. You know whenever there's a boulder in the way of your car and you have to drive around it? Not us! We went over it! Very bumpy but lots of fun. Made me miss the Trooper a little bit too...but not that much! :) Sofia helped me study while we waited for them to get back from the quad ride. Then after a quick lunch, we were on the road again...

Next stop on the trip...Bryce National Park. I don't even know how to describe the hoodoos, except for that it looked like we had landed on a different planet. We went on a short hike (1.5 miles) down into one the canyons and ate lunch down in there. It was so surreal hiking down in there as we were surrounded by the rocks. It's so weird how this world was made, but so beautiful at the same time. It was pretty warm and sunny at first, and then when we were at the very bottom of it all, the weather quickly changed, and we found ourselves caught in the middle of a thunder and lightening storm. I don't think I have ever heard thunder that loud, and I hope I don't again. We ended up finding shelter under a giant boulder, along with families from Belgium, Italy, and Germany, and sat there for about half an hour. Then the steep trail we had to climb back up, quickly turned into a river and thick mud. FUN! Somehow, Sofia managed to fall asleep during all the commotion. We were wet, and covered in mud, but had survived quite the adventure. The kids were pretty freaked out, but now they'll have a good story to tell their friends! After changing into dry clothes, we parted ways from the RV. They stayed in Bryce for a few more nights and then moved on to Zion, Vegas, and home, and got home today I think.

We drove through Zion National Park later that day on our way to Mesquite, NV, which is just inside the border. Zion was pretty cool, but I think I liked Bryce better. Big rocks are cool, but nothing compares to the hoodoos!
At this point I was completely exhausted. After losing $5 to the slots in the casino, we called it a night, and zonked out at around 10:30. We slept in too, and gaining an hour from switching time zones helped in the sleep department. Still, I took 4 naps on the drive home the next day. It was really nice to finally be back in my own bed. It was a really fun trip and I'm glad it all worked out and we kept it on despite the gas prices. I think I might be caught up on sleep now, but I don't think I'll ever have too much sleep! Thanks Mike and Becky for this amazing trip. Melissa and Derek, we missed you guys a lot and wish you could have been on the trip with us! Lots of great memories from this trip, and I'm glad I got to see some national parks that I hadn't been to. And with all that, I think it's time to call it a night!